There is a lot of publicity surrounding one of the great new debates of our time. Gay marriage has taken a front seat to alot of conversation and quite frankly alot of arguments. Now as this is a delicate topic I will ask that you give me some room for offense. I would like to preface this particular blog with a statement that I believe to be completely true. Two sides may disagree, but the important thing is that those two sides be able to come together and leave with a greater understanding and a deeper friendship. This is of course opposed to what I think may happen. People will read my view and right me off as a right wing nut job.

From the time I was a child I have always loved to argue and debate, those are not synonyms hence they are both mentioned. The difference to me is this, to argue is to close your mind to your opponents viewpoint, to debate however, is to open your heart to a friends concern. You may well not agree with what I am writing but I do ask that you do me the common courtesy of reading with an open mind. In return I will publish this in a note on facebook and you are free to comment. Any derogatory remarks however will be removed as I have friends who are below eighteen.

Now then, to the heart. As a young married Christian I have been called a plethora of names for my stance on this issue. From bigot to close minded to narrow minded f)*^ face. (I have to say the last was most interesting as it came from a "gentleman" of at least sixty years.) When I have been called these things I have tended toward caution and usually just walked away from the argument. There is no reaching common ground when you have a chasm between you.

I would like to address the arguments I have heard with my beliefs and hope you will please allow me to do so without labeling me as a hate monger, merely for having a different opinion. Now then, I am opposed to gay marriage. I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman and was designed to be so. Even older societys could recognize this seperation. Take sparta for example. Spartans were notoriously promiscuous in the context of military. They had a philosophy of, you should want your soldiers to want to die for you. They promoted lovers within this atmosphere and quite frankly got around. However when they returned home, they returned to wife. There is a clear seperation.

I am not arguing that the previous example is an acceptable form of marriage, I am just attempting to draw a conclusion that these two things, heterosexuality versus homosexuality have long been two seperate ideals. Marriage serves a purpose. In an ideal situation a child should have two parents, one of each sex. This not only serves to promote a healthy mix of ideals but also a firm ground for a child to gain an understanding of the world around them. I find it interesting that both sides of the arguments I have heard for same sex parenting seem to get their numbers from partial scientists.
Hence, if I used the Pew study in which both sides of the argument are represented, the secular world would be upset that I used them, If however I were to use a secular study, the christians would be upset with the findings. The problem is, all the people taking these surveys serve a higher purpose. Most likely they will attempt to find in favor of that purposes viewpoint.

Another argument is that people were born a certain way with certain habits or tics. For example, the gay lisp. I contend that this is clearly a learned behavior. We have definitely seen a rise in this behavior in the last decades. Acting flamboyant is another one. Now there are some pretty flamboyant men out there, but alot of them can recognize this and you don't hear, I was born this way from them. Now you may be born with a certain predisposition, I for example was born with an ample stomach. This doesn't mean I have to be this way and I can do things that stop it, but it is harder. If people are born with pedophillic or predatory behavior, do we let that slide? Or what about polyamoriety, which has a clearly detrimental effect? Do we allow these behaviors or do we stop and say hold on, you may be born with this leaning but you must curb it?

One of my favorite points the opposing side attempts to make is, why would people suffer thru this if they weren't born this way? I hate to once again turn to my faith, however if that is an argument you are using, you must seriously think that christians are just born christians. We have suffered at the hand of many societies. Romans burned us, Hitler killed us. Your true test in a belief only comes when oppression does. I would argue that this furthers my own argument. Something you are born with you can work to change. An ideaology however many will hold on to because they feel for the cause passionately. If I were to say to day that all people with five fingers would be put to death, and I had the ability to carry this out, I think quite a few of us would be going to get a finger chopped. Versus if I say, all homosexuals must submit to mandatory HIV screenings. You wont change an ideal.

I love when people bring up the issue of straight people already " messing up" the sanctity of marriage. I agree. There is no reason divorce in the christian church should be as high as it is. In fact I believe that we as a church have done a horrible job defending the sanctity of marriage. That being said. Just because our own people have messed it up, this does not mean I give up on my hoping to make it sacred again. In our society people want to get together and then leave when it gets tough. I contend that Heterosexual marriage has a built in failsafe for this. Its called procreation. If the mentality of the people is correct, then I believe they will do their best to fight for the marriage, because numerous studies have shown that it is better for a child to live in a family unit with both parents than to go thru a divorce with the parents. I can attest to this. My parents love me and my family is great. But there are some things about divorce that I carried with me into adulthood. Fortunately I have a very understanding wife, but there are scars from that issue that are still healing.

The other idea I have heard so much lately is that homosexuals getting the right to marry doesn't at all diminish the sanctity of my marriage. So let me ask you this, If all of the sudden marriage could be between as many partners as one would like and they could all claim the benefits, why wouldnt they do it just to get them? In that, don't you think we may be promoting promiscuousness?  Why should one woman be with one man when they can get benefits from multiple spouses? It does change the meaning. I'm sorry but marriage was defined as a union of one man and woman.

By now many of you have me pictured standing next to Fred Phelps, waving a God hates fags sign, dressed in cowboy boots with a bud light in my hand. I can assure you that I detest the work of Westboro Baptist and believe that they are going about their beliefs all wrong. Do I believe gay people will go to hell? I believe in the bible, and the  bible talks in romans very clearly about this issue. Romans 1:18- 32. That being said. I also believe that anyone who refuses to aknowledge sin in their life will be judged accordingly. I am guilty of some of these things, but the beauty of my faith is that I can repent and seek forgiveness and turn from my behavior and be forgiven and so can anyone else. I love my friends and family that are gay.

Now an arugment to this I have heard time and time again is, well what if gay people do that? To that I answer the same as I would answer if you had asked if a married man continued sleeping with his mistress, or if a pedophile kept pursuing children. God knows the heart, I am not hear to judge, but I do hold a standard. I don't believe people like that should be in church leadership. However, if marriage is changed to include two men or two women, whats stopping someone from asking me to marry them, and then suing me if I say no? Then my rights get trampled on.

Thank you for reading this. It is my hope that we can have some spirited discussion and that we may come to a better understanding of each other.